Facebook and Family Obligations

2010-07-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Facebook, like any burgeoning technology, faces its share of skepticism as it grows more popular. In particular, we in the church find ourselves wrestling with the question of "what Jesus would do" in the realm of social networking. After all, Facebook wasn't around when Jesus said to His disciples, "I call you Friends."

Regardless of whether you actually use Facebook, you have likely formed an opinion on it; I don't intend to change it here. Social media are amoral, their effect for good or ill dependent on how they are used.

Yet for all its contrivances to bring people closer, Facebook actually increases the distance between us in many ways. This is why Christians must take special care to remember that no social network will ever trump the social covenant of believers: "And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also" (1 John 4:21). There are several areas in which Facebook tempts us to exempt ourselves from this obligation.

Anger

Anger is an emotion that requires much spiritual training to learn to handle righteously. Words of anger spoken rashly can be destructive; indeed James calls our tongues “unruly evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). In several places the Bible instructs us to lovingly confront our brethren when we are offended, with a view to reconciliation (Proverbs 25:8-10; Matt 18:15-17). In giving us the gift of anger as a response to injustice, God has required us to channel it constructively. Yet Facebook provides a virtual soapbox that can be wrongfully used to vent our ire when we have been offended.

On the surface, it's a much easier path - especially for the passive-aggressive among us - to post an update condemning the other party. We may attempt to veil our words to conceal identities, but the issue is not primarily naming names; it's that we are avoiding righteous confrontation. We are short-changing our brother or sister of the opportunity to make amends for wrong. Besides, even our best-disguised secrets are sometimes more transparent than we realize. We would do well on to bridle our fingers as we would our tongues, thinking twice before typing words against another, committing ourselves to godly confrontation for the ultimate goal of restoration.

Concern and Support

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep,” says Paul to the Romans (12:15). We are called to stand with one another in sincerity in both good times and hardship. A major benefit of Facebook is that it can make communities of friends more aware of each other's lives, increasing the opportunity to fulfill Paul's words. However, the way in which this is automated can lure us to into laziness in reaching out to others. There is nothing wrong with the standard birthday wall post, but has the practice reduced the purposefulness of our rejoicing? Have we opted for cheaper, easier ways to express our joy?

I find Facebook - and the Internet at large - an incredibly useful tool for meeting needs within the body of Christ. If a person posts a need or a prayer request, the body can be mobilized almost immediately to help. But when we are bombarded with so much information from so many, will it become easy to forget each other's needs? Will our prayer for each other be continuous, or will it end shortly after the comment we leave? Let us remind ourselves that Jesus' love should be expressed with deliberateness, intentionality, and thoughtfulness.

Stumbling

Finally, it is vital to remember that while our real-life social groups are normally segregated (i.e., work, school, church), Facebook amalgamates one's friends into a single community of sorts. By default, everything that one posts on Facebook is shared with all of one's friends, regardless of their “sphere.” As a result, it's easy to write something that becomes more widely visible than originally intended. For example, as an adult, the content you post may be inoffensive to other adults, but perhaps inappropriate for a young teen you have “friended.” In 1 Corinthians 8, Paul cautions believers not to exercise their liberty if it means causing a weaker brother to sin. Therefore we should be careful in what we share online, even if it is not inherently immoral. (Facebook's friend list feature can assist us in this, allowing users to categorize their friends and thus restrict content accordingly.)

All in all, Facebook has added a new dimension to human interaction: It increases convenience in communication, and in many ways actually enhances a sense of community. But let's not become so absorbed in Facebook's usefulness that we neglect our duty to each other as family in Christ. May the era of social networking simply be further motivation to “[bear] with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3).

Kathy Montgomery is an all-around "geek" who enjoys all things computer-related. When not using Facebook, she works for a technology consulting firm.

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Facebook and Family Obligations